If I had a daughter

I do not have children. I will never have children. This is a choice that I have made in my life. Sometimes, I wonder if it was the right decision. It is too late to change it now. There are many reasons why I do not have children. Those reasons are mine and I will not address them. This is just a what if. Something that I wrote while in the throws of a stress filled, on my second beer, moment.

If I had a daughter, I would teach her to respect herself. I would teach her to trust her instincts. To believe that she is smart and can make great decisions on her own. I would guide her to follow her dreams. I would help her travel the world and appreciate different cultures and ideas. I would teach her not to put up with shit from anyone. Not from her boyfriend, husband, girlfriend, boss, co-workers. Nobody. It’s not worth it. I would teach her to be healthy and kind. To respect the earth and give back what she takes. I would show her how to save money, make investments and be sensible about her money. I would teach her that while it is important to take care of yourself, sometimes we all need a helping hand. There is no shame in accepting help once in a while. It is also important to give help to those less fortunate. Yes, some of them have made bad decisions and will never change. But some people are just down on their luck. Shit happens to all of us sometimes. I would teach her about art and history and the beauty of all things natural. I would teach her that animals are to be treated with respect and decency. They are not to be treated like trash to be thrown out when they get old or hurt.

One of my regrets in not having a child, is that my husband would have been a great father. He would have taught my daughter that loving someone does not mean putting up with being treated like shit. He would teach her that not all men are dicks. That real men treat women as equals – not princesses to be put on pedastals or shit to be squished beneath their boots. That loving someone means sharing in all things, good and bad. He would teach her that it’s okay to be take your time, not everything needs to happen immediately. Because sometimes the world changes quick and waiting just an hour can change everything. He would teach her patience. He would show her how to fix her own car. And perform maintenance on her lawn mower. He would teach her how to drive. My husband would be the one to teach her that sometimes you have to keep your feet on the ground.

But we will never have a daughter. Sometimes it makes me sad. But I just go to the Kroger and watch some families fight each other over a candy bar and  I am thankful that I don’t have children. I have cats instead.


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