Daily Prompt: Plead the Fifth

What Question do you hate to be asked? Why?

There are so many of these questions that bug me. Maybe I am just a grumpy person who is often annoyed by people asking too many questions. But there are a few questions that always go together. Are you married? How long? Do you have children?

We’ve been married for 7  plus years. Together for 10. No we don’t have children.

And when they hear that we don’t have children, they almost always, 9 times out of 10, say, “You are still young. You have time.”

First, you do not know how old I am.  Sometimes I tell them “Actually, I am 41, so not really.”

“Oh, well, my sister’s neighbor had a baby when she was 41. Or that movie star lady is 45 and she had one.” And on and on it goes.

You do not know why I don’t have children. For all you know, we could have medical reasons for not having children. What I want to say is, “I don’t have children because I would have to put up with judgmental asshats like yourself, madam.” I say madam because it’s always women. Men never say this to me. Maybe they say it to my husband, but never to me.

There are a myriad of reasons that I don’t have children. And the truth is the parents of other children is one of those reasons. Even if I home-schooled my child, at some point they would have to go out into the world and meet other children. Those children would have parents. And 85% of those parents are asshats.

And as I look around at my sleeping cats, I thank the heavens that they don’t need play dates with their peers.


Jackie Moon

Jackie Moon

14 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: Plead the Fifth

  1. I can totally relate to this! Yes, many parents are asshats, but so are their children. truth is, there aren’t many nice kids around…

  2. Thanks for stopping by my blog – glad we are connected! I am laughing out loud (a bit too loud) at this post of yours…my husband and I do not have human children either and I get these ridiculous questions ALL the time. I feel your pain, sister.

  3. Yes, Rosemary, I totally believe that people would say things like that to you.
    I get the same question re: why I don’t have kids. Usually just telling the truth helps-‘I don’t have kids because I was a virgin when I got married and then, ten months after that, I got into a car accident and broke my pelvis. Because of that I had arthritis from hell and couldn’t spread my legs, which kind of makes having kids impossible. Next question.”
    All of that is true, although I recently had hip replacement surgery to correct the, er, mobility issue. But stating things like this usually gets people to shut up.

  4. Oh, and, to add to the ‘”WTF?” comments’-
    My sister and her husband had twin boys when they were 34. They have both been asked if the boys were the result of fertility treatments. They were, as a matter of fact, but it’s none of anyone else’s business. Neither my sister nor her husband look their ages, so I have no idea what would even *possess* someone to ask a question like that.

  5. Pingback: Daily Prompt; Plead the Fifth | tnkerr-Writing Prompts and Practice

  6. I feel you… especially in the case when advises are so freely dispensed! Grr.
    Reading this post makes my blood boil. I wish I could give those fellas a good smackdown.
    Ops.. Hope I haven’t frighten you. Heehee.

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