You may recall in March, I wrote about the Casualties of Winter. Well, I recently discovered Santa and Frosty faked their deaths. Perhaps for the insurance money or maybe it was so they could leave their wives and live a life of debauchery in the corner of my patio. While I do not know what is happening here, I can only assume it is some sort of weird fetishy, Christmas thing. Mrs. Claus and Crystal (Frosty’s wife for those of you who haven’t seen the Christmas special) will be devastated.